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Defensiveness Kills

August 24, 2017

I hope that you are well.  Happy Thursday to you.  I hope that the week has been treating you well.  I am super excited about the weekend.  Particularly because I have tons of Virgo birthday's coming up.  Special birthday shout out to my little sisters Stephanie and Kierra Monet, stepdad Michael and my bestie Maranda.  Happy birthday to all you Virgos out there!!! The Scorpios are coming for you - but remember there is none better than a CANCER!!! Ha!  So this weekend I'll be out celebrating my Soror President Paulette Walker with the rest of the best chapter - Tampa Alumnae Chapter of Delta Sigma Theta Sorority, Inc.  I miss my sorors and can't wait to see them.  There is an all-white party this Saturday too.  And of course the fight comes on.  McGregor or Mayweather and what round.  Let me know your thoughts.  Click the survey or join the conversation on Facebook.  

 

Join me in welcoming Ms. Debora Barrs - BITB's new travel content writer!! I am so glad to have her on board. She will offer travel tips for you on a bi-weekly basis.  If you want to right about fashion, health, law -- whatever -- I welcome content writers. Here is your pla

 

tform!!!!

 

Let's see -don't forget to get your tickets for the Tampa Florida Classic, which is coming September 16th.  It will be a great time.  If you are with a church, organization or group that plans to buy 10 or more tickets, group prices are set aside for you.  Just contact Dr. Collins (813)679-3268 or Mike Reid (813)240-3116.  There is also a golf tournament going on the day before the game on September 15th.  Golfers come on out and support.  It will be a good time.  

 

OK - let's jump into this week's topic: Defensiveness can kill you!  You all know that when I write, it's usually from a very personal place.  Well here goes.  I have struggled with my weight/obesity for quite some time - really most of my adult life.  Well, after I had my baby, I lost the baby weight plus 15 lbs.  #ThankGod and #Amen! Ok - ladies/mommies are rejoicing with me on this.  But then I went back to work, sat and snacked at a desk all day, stop breastfeeding and didn't exercise.  That was a recipe for a 35 lbs. weight gain and Type 2 diabetes!  I was gestational while preggo and have been pre-diabetic for quite some time.  It was already a struggle with the family history of it and I didn't help it at all.  Quite honestly, I didn't truly decide to take action until a few weeks ago.  

 

My grandmother had to have two of her toes amputated and had kidney issues due to complications with diabetes - and I was like oh hell naah!!!  I can't have this in my life - my son husband, family and friends need me.  And I want to live a full life.  This is for the birds.  I am young enough to get it together and get rid of this disease.  Although I've been diagnosed for a year, I hadn't shared it with my parents.  The reason I didn't share it with my stepmom and dad was because I know that they were going to be on a whole other level of turn up about the situation, especially because mom is a diabetic nurse!!!  And long story short, I just wasn't truly ready to make the changes necessary.  I'd talk a good game and say what I was gonna do, but in reality - I was just talking.  

 

I also realized that I was super defensive if my husband or anyone said something to me about what I was eating or not working out.  I would just not receive their words out of love.  I was determined to do it on my time and on my terms.  Now I realize that I can't do this with that mindset.  I have to be open to people getting on my neck if I don't stick with my plan.  I have to be accountable and I have to be able to listen and learn without being defensive.  I can't hear them with defensive ears!  If I do, I might kill myself literally!!!  So I am so happy to have a village that is ready to encourage me and help me do what I need to do to drop this weight and get rid of this damned diabetes.  

 

What I realized is that defensiveness can kill a lot of things - your dreams, aspirations and all kinds of relationships.  I've heard so many people in business who are defensive and have to have things done their way.  They think they know it all and are defensive if someone tries to suggest a more efficient way of doing things.  The same goes for married folks and friendships.  Defensive listening is horrible.  I guarantee that those reading this is either the defensive one or can think of at least three people to forward this message to right now.  Don't let defensiveness kill you.  Open your mind, your ears and your life to receive.  I am not saying that you aren't right or justified sometimes - I am just saying that you must evaluate your approach and response!  Click here  for tips to ease defensiveness.

 

Please understand that it took me some time to commit to this blog post!  I'm telling y'all all of my business.  But that's who I am - I know that my story may help someone else.  I appreciate you all for listening.  

 

 

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