Soooo – dating after divorce. This is such a hot topic because unfortunately marriages don’t last like they used to. There are so many blended families. I come from one. Recently, my friends and I were having a conversation about dating. We realized that as we (women) get older, it is more likely for us to meet a man/woman that has been married or has children. When we were younger, I said I wouldn’t date someone who was previously married or had children. I wanted to be the first for everything – well most things! My views definitely changed as I matured over the years.
One thing I had to realize was people who are dating after a divorce, see relationships differently. That’s not a bad thing in many cases. Just talking to friends and family, I’ve learned that this can make things easier or more difficult -depending on who you are dealing with. A divorcee can be guarded – and rightfully so! The person could be very confidential with their feelings and may appear to be out of touch. I think that it may be a protection mechanism. Divorcees can also be extremely transparent and non-negotiable when it comes to what they need in a mate. There’s nothing wrong with that either. Many people say-some of the best marriages are the second ones. People have learned what to do and what not to do. They have a clear understanding of what marriage is and what it requires. Many may disagree with that, as well. I, personally, think that it’s mostly women that have the bigger issues. We want to be the first woman you have ever seen coming down that aisle. We don’t want you to have anything to compare it to. Men may feel the same way.
Either way, don’t be scared to date someone who was previously married. Get to know the person and find out who they are for yourself. If you are a divorcee, please be open-minded and get unstuck out of your ways. Learn about each other and learn from the divorcee’s experience, as well. I am definitely not saying spend your days telling your new mate about the things your ex didn’t do right. That opens up 15 cans of drama. I am saying that you should enjoy life in the new. Meet more people and explore your options. Just because your marriage didn’t work with that person, doesn’t mean that true love won’t find your heart.
Here are a few tips to get back in the game.